Four Star prices with One Star quality at The Grand Hotel, Torquay

On our way home from a business meeting this afternoon, we decided to pop into the Grand for a bit of late lunch. We have wanted to try it out since we moved to Devon, and today was the perfect opportunity.

The outside of the hotel is looking rather shabby, so we were pleasantly surprised to see that the inside looks like you would expect a four star hotel to look – smart, clean and professional.

We headed for the compass lounge and said we just wanted sandwiches. We were told this was no problem, and were shown to a table by the window, with a great view of the bay.

The waitress came over to take our drinks order. Jim asked for a gin and tonic (he wasn’t asked which gin he wanted) and I asked for an earl grey tea. We then ordered a club sandwich for Jim (£11.50) and egg mayonnaise in a white baguette for me (£7.50).

When the drinks came, I had been given ordinary tea. Attracting someone’s attention wasn’t easy even though there were quite a few members of staff milling around, and we had to wait until the food came before I could tell them about the tea. The waitress apologised (and sighed as if this wasn’t the first time this had happened) and immediately brought a fresh pot of what I’d ordered.

The sandwiches are served with crisps and a little salad. I had to ask for salad dressing. The waitress said it should have had some on it, and that she would have to go down to the kitchen to get us some. What she brought back tasted like it had just been thrown together, and wasn’t seasoned.

I started by eating a couple of crisps, and was surprised that they tasted very cheap – not the kettle crisp type I would have expected to be served there. As I bit into the baguette I was reminded of the inexpensive partially-baked ones you get at the supermarket that you stick in the over for ten minutes. And the filling was pretty tasteless too. I had the distinct impression that everything on my plate was the cheapest possible. Also, when I turned one sandwich piece over, a bit of the baguette was missing, which was rather odd... (see image).

I looked over at Jim and asked him about his. He shrugged and said it was ok, and a couple of bites later he said that actually, all the components tasted cheap, particularly the chicken, which reminded him of the frozen stuff we occasionally buy for our cats. 

The ingredients of a club sandwich are chosen because they all complement each other and come together to make something delicious. This was certainly not the case here.

Our bill came to just under £29 and while I understand that you’re paying for the fact that you’re in a four star hotel with a nice view, I expect the food to match the surroundings, and object to paying quite a lot for something you would expect to be served at a road-side cafe.

By the time we got home, we both had stomach ache from the stodge.

Such a disappointing experience, which we will not be repeating.